Colossians 4

Verse 1 really more properly belongs at the end of Chapter 3. Remember that chapter breaks are man-made!
(1) Masters, be just and fair to your *slaves. Remember that you also have a Master—in heaven.

·      *slaves: Of whom is Onesimus.

·      This would include the relationship between employers and employees or teachers and students. A believing master is called upon to be totally impartial in caring for the needs of his servants, giving to his servants what is just and fair. What is just is what is right as before God. What is fair is what does not favor one above another. If the servant is to act in a manner pleasing to God, the master is to do no less, for he himself is only a servant to the Lord: his Master is in Heaven. Every believing employer, foreman, supervisor or teacher must remember this.

(2) *Devote yourselves to **prayer with an ***alert mind and a ****thankful heart.

·      *Devote: Persevere, continue steadfastly. Implies waiting on Him and for His answer. We are to pray and be expecting His answer. Habakkuk waited for the answer in the watchtower – Habakkuk 2:1.
Ephesians 6:18: Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. Daniel was seeking the Lord in fasting for 21 days, when the angel finally came he declared to Daniel that from the first day that he sought the Lord for understanding, the angel was dispatched with the answer, but he was detained by the powers of darkness that controlled Persia until he was delivered by the great angel Michael. What if Daniel had given up after a few hours?

·      **prayer:

o   In the present, most of us don’t pray, we worry. When we look at the past, we regret the decisions that we made. Or, we complain about the decisions others made. When we think toward the future, we are afraid. We don’t know what might happen, but we don’t think we’ll be able to handle it. So our natural tendency is to be anxious in the present, complain about the past and worry about the future. However, being in Christ changes everything.

o   If we’re living our lives “in Christ” then it’s awkward not to pray. If we’re constantly aware of the presence of God with us, no matter where we are, then it’s normal to be in a constant conversation with him. That’s what prayer is: a constant conversation with God. There are lots of different types of conversations: deep ones, small talk, funny ones, reminiscing and confrontational. There are all sorts of different kinds of prayer too. All the hindrances that we think we have that prevent us from praying evaporate when something severe happens to us or our family. Suddenly we are able to find time to pray. Suddenly prayer becomes really important. Otherwise we think we have life in our hands and we are in control and we completely neglect prayer.

o   Luke 18:1: One day Jesus told his disciples a story to show that they should always pray and never give up.

o   Ephesians 6:18: Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.

·      ***alert: Don't let other things crowd in and destroy your ability to concentrate during the time you spend in prayer to God.

·      ****thankful: Sometimes it’s hard to be thankful for God’s answer when it isn’t the answer we want nor what we were expecting. A thankful prayer expects God's answers – in advance!

(3) *Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his **mysterious plan concerning Christ. That is why I am here in chains.

·      *Pray for us:

o   If Paul needed the prayers of the Colossians, do you suppose we need the prayers of our friends? Why would Paul need their prayers? Notice that it’s “us”, not “me”.

·      **mysterious plan:

o   Ephesians 1:9; 3:3,4,9: God has now revealed to us his mysterious plan regarding Christ, a plan to fulfill his own good pleasure…As I briefly wrote earlier, God himself revealed his mysterious plan to me… As you read what I have written, you will understand my insight into this plan regarding Christ….I was chosen to explain to everyone this mysterious plan that God, the Creator of all things, had kept secret from the beginning.

o   What is the mystery of Christ? It's the entire gospel and all that it embodies. All those sacred secrets hidden in the Old Testament revealed in the New. All the truths about Jesus Christ, that He indwells the believer. That's the mystery of the indwelling Christ in Colossians 1:26 and 27. That He is God incarnate. That's the mystery of the incarnation, Colossians 2:2 and 3. The mystery of the Rapture, that Jesus is going to return for His church, I Corinthians 15:51 and 52. The mystery of the bride that He's going to unite Himself with us in an eternal way as the bride and object of His love, Ephesians 5. The mystery of iniquity that He's going to come and put an end to the fullness of sin, II Thessalonians 2:7. All of those sacred secrets are revealed in the New Testament in the gospel of Christ. And the mystery of the one church, Jew and Gentile, one in Him.

(4) Pray that I will proclaim this message as clearly as I should.

·      Acts 4:29: And now, O Lord, hear their threats, and give us, your servants, great boldness in preaching your word.

(5) Live wisely among those who are *not believers, and make the most of every opportunity.

·      *not believers: Unbelievers care little about Christian doctrine, but carefully note the words and actions of those who claim to be Christians. If our words and lifestyle contradict what a Christian should say and be, we may prevent unbelievers from coming to Christ, but just confirm to them that Christians are hypocrites.

(6) Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.

·      Remember how Paul spoke to the Athenians on Mars Hill in Acts 17?

·      Ephesians 4:29: Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

·      1 Peter 3:9: Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.

(7) *Tychicus will give you a full report about how I am getting along. He is a beloved brother and faithful helper who serves with me in the Lord’s work.

·      *Tychicus:

o   Ephesians 6:21: To bring you up to date, Tychicus will give you a full report about what I am doing and how I am getting along. He is a beloved brother and faithful helper in the Lord’s work.

o   Titus 3:12: I am planning to send either Artemas or Tychicus to you. As soon as one of them arrives, do your best to meet me at Nicopolis, for I have decided to stay there for the winter.

(8) I have sent him to you for this very purpose—to let you know how we are doing and to encourage you.
(9) I am also sending *Onesimus, a faithful and beloved brother, one of your own people. He and Tychicus will tell you everything that’s happening here.

·      *Onesimus, a run-away slave who was won to Christ by Paul, is the subject of Paul’s personal short letter to Philemon, the owner of Onesimus. Onesimus, the slave of Philemon, was accompanying Tychicus. Paul was at this time sending Onesimus back to his master, probably sending his epistle to Philemon at the same time. Onesimus had only become "one of" the Colossian brethren when he had been converted through Paul in the Roman prison; and Paul commends him as a faithful and beloved brother. Compare also Philemon 10-16.

(10) *Aristarchus, who is in prison with me, sends you his greetings, and so does **Mark, Barnabas’s cousin. As you were instructed before, make Mark welcome if he comes your way.

·      *Aristarchus:

o   Acts 19:29: Soon the whole city (Ephesus) was filled with confusion. Everyone rushed to the amphitheater, dragging along Gaius and Aristarchus, who were Paul’s traveling companions from Macedonia.

o   Acts 27:2: Aristarchus, a Macedonian from Thessalonica, was also with us. We left on a ship…

·      **Mark:

o   Acts 15:36-40: After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus. Paul chose Silas, and as he left, the believers entrusted him to the Lord’s gracious care.

o   2 Timothy 4:11: Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry.

(11) Jesus (the one we call *Justus) also sends his greetings. These are the only Jewish believers among my co-workers; they are working with me here for the Kingdom of God. And what a comfort they have been!
(12) *Epaphras, a member of your own fellowship and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends you his greetings. He always prays earnestly for you, asking God to make you strong and perfect, fully confident that you are following the whole will of God.
(13) I can assure you that he *prays hard for you and also for the believers in Laodicea and Hierapolis.

·      *prays hard: Greek agonizomai, comes from Greek agon – race or contest. Where we get our words “agony” and “agonize”.

(14) *Luke, the beloved doctor, sends his greetings, and so does **Demas.

·      *Luke stayed with Paul to the very end:
2 Timothy 4:11: Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry.
Perhaps Luke was in Rome to deliver a document he recently finished - the Gospel of Like and the Book of Acts, which probably were a "friend of the court" brief, explaining to the Romans why Paul stood before Caesar's court.

·      **Demas: 2 Timothy 4:10: Demas has deserted me because he loves the things of this life and has gone to Thessalonica…
No word of praise for Demas.

(15) Please give my greetings to our brothers and sisters at Laodicea, and to Nympha and the church that meets in her house.
(16) After you have read this letter, pass it on to the church at *Laodicea so they can read it, too. And you should read the **letter I wrote to them.

·      *Laodicea (later mentioned in the scathing rebuke of Revelation 3:14-22) was a neighboring city of Colosse, along with Hierapolis.

·      **letter I wrote to them: This was probably the circular letter to Ephesus. Except for Paul’s letter to Philemon, which was a personal letter, Paul’s letters were meant to be read aloud in each church.

(17) And say to *Archippus, “Be sure to carry out the ministry the Lord gave you.”

·      *Archippus: Philemon 1:2: …to our fellow soldier Archippus… There was, evidently, doubt in Paul’s mind that Archippus would fulfill the destiny that God had chosen for him. Is it possible that you won’t carry out the ministry the Lord gave to you?

 (18) Here is my greeting in my own handwriting—Paul. Remember my chains. May God’s grace be with you.

·      As was the custom in that day, Paul generally dictated his letters, and personally signed a postscript with his own hand.

NOTE: Sources and References are on line at:
http://colossians-study.blogspot.com/2011/01/colossians-references.html

Colossians 3

(1) Since you have been *raised to new life with Christ, **set your sights on the ***realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor ****at God’s right hand.

·         *raised with Christ: Greek = sunageiro.

o       Colossians 2:12: For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead.

o       Ephesians 2:6: For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus.

·         **set your sights: “Set your sights on heaven” means to let heaven fill our thoughts, concentrating on the eternal instead of the here and now.

·         ***realities of heaven: Our real life is hidden with Christ in God in heaven (verse 3). Our life here on earth is just a minor blip in our total existence. Per Philippians, we are citizens of heaven – that is our real home - this is just our short, temporary home. That’s why Paul, in 2 Timothy 4, could face death so easily and look forward to being bodily in his permanent home with Christ. We need to have the same attitude – but life’s activities and responsibilities so often distract us from fully realizing that in our lives. "This is a test. ... This is only a test."

·         ****at God’s right hand: Ephesians 1:20: … seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.

(2) Think about the things of heaven, not the *things of earth.

·         Don’t be side tracked in being overly concerned about your earthly problems and don’t be side tracked by false teaching because our citizenship is in heaven:

o       Philippians 3:18-20: For I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes, that there are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ. They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth. But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior.

·         That does not mean that we should go around constantly thinking about heaven. There is nothing super pious about this. He is simply saying, "Don't let your desires and your attitudes be governed or directed by desires for earthly fame or power. Instead, let your desires be shaped by the word of God." We are to have a desire to exhibit love, truth, faith and patience---the qualities that mark the life of the risen Lord. That is what he's talking about. We are not to go around thinking about heaven all the time. We are to go around manifesting heaven in the situations in which we find ourselves.

·         *things of the earth: Paul isn't talking about material things, but about the earthly points of view that stand as alternatives to the things of heaven. These are the things that drive us to love ourselves instead of the Lord, the ways we choose patterns of sin, the ways we ruin ourselves and others and the power of sin to persuade us to live lives that we hate and that God hates. We must choose the things above and avoid the things on earth.

(3) For you *died to this life, and your real life is hidden **with Christ in God.

·         *died: Romans 7:4: So, my dear brothers and sisters, this is the point: You died to the power of the law when you died with Christ. And now you are united with the one who was raised from the dead. As a result, we can produce a harvest of good deeds for God.

·         **with: Greek = sun. Our real life is hidden IN Christ.

·         Galatians 2:20: My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

(4) And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will *share in all his glory.

·         *share in all is glory: Greek = sunphaneroo (appear or be revealed IN Him). This is the hope of glory.

·         Titus 2:12-13: And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, while we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed.

(5) So *put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with **sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires. Don’t be ***greedy, for a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world.

·         *put to death: Greek – nekroo, means to treat as dead – i.e., to count on the slaying of the old man with Christ crucified as being an actual fact. Put into practical effect what Christ did for us on the Cross.

• Romans 6:11: So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus.

·         **sexual immorality: porneia (sexual activity outside of marriage).

·         ***greedy: Greedy is really the word covetous, and given its place in this list, it may primarily have to do with coveting someone sexually or wanting someone you ought not want.

·         There is no way that Jesus would walk in any of these sins, so if we identify with Him, we won't walk in them either.

·         The question is, if you have died with Christ, have been raised with him, and are united with him, what right does impurity have to march around in your head, putting pressure on you to act in ways that are inappropriate? So instead of just disciplining the external behavior, what Paul is saying is to put to death the passions. You are raised with Christ, and your life is hidden with him in God. You will be glorified with him someday. Even though you may feel unloved in this world, you are loved very deeply. Even though you may feel lonely and unappreciated, you are not lonely and never will be lonely again; you have a companion who will go everywhere in your life with you, he cares so much for you. Therefore, these passions do not belong in you. They no longer have the right to command you. And so when you begin the process---and it is a process; this does not happen overnight---of putting to death the ideas, passions, and longings that don't belong there, the sinful actions as a matter of course will stop as well.

(6) Because of these sins, the anger of God is coming.
(7) You used to do these things when your life was still part of this world.

·         Ephesians 2:2: You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil—the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God.

(8) BUT NOW is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language.

·         The sins Paul next lists (anger, wrath, and so forth) are regarded by many as "little" sins that Christians can overlook. Paul challenges us to put off the old man in every area of our lives. Each of these sins is primarily committed by what we say.  The more notorious sins of Colossians 3:5 are easily seen as incompatible with the nature of Jesus. But these "lesser" sins are also incompatible, so put off these sins too.

(9) Don’t lie to each other, for you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds.

·         Ephesians 4:22: throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception.

·         The old man is what the believer was as a human being in the flesh. That has been put off forever: he or she can no longer be the same. Of course, the fleshly nature remains, but we are not "in the flesh" (Romans 8:9), though the flesh is in us.

(10) Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.

• Romans 8:9: But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to him at all.)
• Romans 13:12-14: The night is almost gone; the day of salvation will soon be here. So remove your dark deeds like dirty clothes, and put on the shining armor of right living. Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, clothe yourself with the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ. And don’t let yourself think about ways to indulge your evil desires.
• Ephesians 4:24: Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
• We have put on the new man. This happened when we first trusted the Lord Jesus as Savior. The new man is part of God's new creation, created after the image of the Creator, a representation of His own nature. We now have a choice – to live in our new nature or to continue living in our old nature.

(11) In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.
(12) Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

·        Because God chose you, you need to take on godly characteristics. Let no one wonder whether you’re a Christian – your life should abundantly demonstrate it without even saying a word or acting “religious”!

(13) Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

·         Ephesians 4:2: Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

(14) Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.
(15) And let the* peace that comes from Christ **rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

·         *peace: Philippians 4:6-7: Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

o       If you’re not at peace, it’s because you’ve not surrendered to the Lord what’s robbing you of His peace. One of the issues Paul has raised is anger; the horrible business of bitterness, resentment, loss, fury, malice, abusive speech---all the things that are so ruinous and destructive of relationships. They tear families apart. The alternative is to "...let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts." Seek above the one with whom we have been united, who loves us, who rules the universe. Let the peace of Christ rule where anger once ruled. That is the positive choice we make.

·         **rule = “be the umpire”. From brabeion (prize). The umpire or judge at the games was the one who assigned the prize in a public game. He also was the one who eliminated anyone from the game who had not properly trained or had disobeyed any of the rules.

·         The language Paul uses tells us another important thing in this passage: Becoming mature in Christ is a process that is going to take time. There are things to learn and battles to fight. There are evil patterns in your life that are very secure because they have been there a long time and the ruts are worn very deep in you. It will be a difficult business to put them to death; weaknesses that you have given in to over and over again will not quickly change. That is why we need to be patient with each other, forbearing, and forgiving of one another; that is why there has to be a deep commitment to let God grow the other person at the rate he will. As soon as we see growth in ourselves we can't give way to impatience with those who are still struggling. We have to be on their side and be an encouragement to them.

·          

 (16) Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.
(17) And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.

·        2 Corinthians 5:20: So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!”

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The next section is a series of pairs. In each case one member of the pair is addressed and then the other: wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters, and these pairs are intended to be studied together. It is inappropriate to speak of the responsibility of a wife, for instance, without the responsibility of her husband, and vice versa. What must come first is the command given in Colossians 3:8 - "put aside" abusive speech etc. Homes in which the gospel message has been allowed to produce a degree of emotional health are ready for the directives given in the passage we are considering here.
(18) *WIVES, **submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who ***belong to the Lord.

·         *Wives: Genesis 2:18: Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

·         **submit: A natural response to a loving leadership. Per Ephesians, the husband is to submit to the Lord and they are to mutually submit to each other. The command to be submissive is not given only to wives. Ephesians 5:21 says that we are all to be subject to one another.

·         ***belong to the Lord: Human relations must be considered from the basic relationship to Christ.

·         Wives need to submit, true, but to what...years of abuse, infidelity... submission to anything and anyone? God does all things... properly and in an orderly manner (1 Corinthians 14:40). And as such, He has set up a chain of command in His Kingdom. Without it we find, instead of moral order (kosmos), there is moral chaos... a society in apostasy and anarchy as in Judges 21:25. The fact that the woman is to "submit" to her husband does not suggest that the man is better than or superior to the woman. It only means that the man has the God ordained responsibility of headship and leadership in the home (Ephesians 5:23-24). According to His plan, the husband's role is to be the Spirit filled spiritual head of the house and the woman's role is to live with a Spirit enabled attitude of being aligned to her husband. We see Paul immediately (next verse) commands husbands to selflessly, sacrificially, love their wives. The Spirit borne fruit of this "agape" love in and from the husband provides the proper environment in which godly subjection by the wife is to take place (Ephesians 5:25-30).

·         A wife is to be submissive to her husband as is fitting in the Lord.  Does this mean that she must obey him in every instance?  Absolutely not! What if a husband wanted her to do something illegal or immoral? Would she obey? Absolutely not! Should a wife submit to an abusive husband who does her physical harm? Absolutely not! Should a wife submit to an abusive husband who verbally abuses her? Absolutely not – He is not submitting to the Lord!

(19) HUSBANDS, LOVE YOUR WIVES and NEVER TREAT THEM HARSHLY.

• Ephesians 5:25: For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her
• The verb agapao itself seems best understood in the New Testament to express a willing love, not the love of passion or emotion, but the love of choice. The love that should have existed long before the start of the marriage is to continue throughout the marriage; Gods' love, produced within and from the husbands' heart. It cannot give way to bitterness. The willing, covenant love in view here is the activity of self-sacrifice. It is a deep affection that views the wife as a sister in the Lord and the object of a promise to be kept. The love that Paul commands sees the wife as a one to be cared for while at the same time a fellow heir to grace (1 Peter 3:7), a best friend, and life-partner. The nature of this love is beautifully expressed in Ephesians 5:22-28. God designed that a wife's "being subject to" operate within the context of a Spirit filled husband's sacrificial love. (Remember that context is critical for accurate interpretation and application -- here, what is the context of the command for husbands to continually "love like Jesus"? The godly husband loves his wife like Christ loves the church, which speaks of leadership, provision, protection, promises of good, etc. Agape (Gods' view of us) love means LISTENING, maybe one reason we have two ears and one mouth. It's another important part in our most intimate relationship, the marriage covenant. What does Christ do for His Church? He spends time with His body, listens patiently to her prayers, gives of Himself, and finally and very importantly as it pertains to husbands, Christ intercedes for His Bride continually (Hebrews 7:25, Romans 8:34).
• This refers to something much greater than a feeling of affection, since biblical love is defined as obedience to God's law in our relationships. And in the marriage relationship, the husband must love his wife in the way that Christ loves his church, that is, to be willing to sacrifice his own life for her (Ephesians 5:25). This is the true measure of a man.
• Often a husband expects his wife to measure up to a certain standard, and if she does not, he may disobey Scripture by treating her harshly. He may well ask himself, what standard does he himself measure up to? -- for it is not the standard of Scripture. His bitterness will certainly not encourage either her love or her submission to him. If he obeys Scripture by truly loving his wife and not treating her harshly, this is the only way he will influence her attitude and actions for good.
• Jesus is the husband of His bride, the Church. Just think of how Jesus treats the Church and you have a guide for how husbands should treat their wives.
• The thing to put off is "harshness." It belongs to the old nature. Husbands are not to be caustic, bitter, resentful or sarcastic toward their wives. These things are especially hurtful to women. Lord Byron said, "Man's love is of man's life a thing apart; 'tis woman's whole existence." Women are made differently than men. You can be sharp with a man friend and he will shrug it off and not become upset by it. But if you do that with your wife you will cut her deeply, far more than you may realize. So, put off these traits of criticism and sarcasm. They are from the old life. As Christian husbands you do not have to act that way any more. If a husband says something sharp to his wife it is very difficult for her to give him the support which the Lord asks of her.

(20) CHILDREN, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord.

·        There may be very unusual circumstances in which a parent requires something morally wrong from a child, as for instance, stealing or cheating, or worshiping an idol. This would be a plain exception, in which case the child should firmly  refuse to obey the parent. Ephesians 6:1 reads, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord," So the child should always obey unless he is required to disobey the Lord.

·        Now the Bible is clear that children are to obey in everything, yet at some point the children must grow up and establish their own households. At some point, a man leaves and cleaves as Scripture doesn’t just recommend but commands!

o       Genesis 2:24: This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

(21) FATHERS, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.

• Ephesians 6:4: Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
• The Lord said of Eli that he and his house would be judged by God because he had failed to discipline his sons (1 Samuel 3:11-13).
• A husband’s harshness that he exerts over his wife can carry over to his relationship with the children.  A father is to discipline his children but not in a manner that makes them bitter and resentful. It is always with a view toward seeing that the child has a godly attitude or behavior and not just to have the child please the whims of his or her father. There are many who could never please their fathers and this has led to discouragement, which the child even carries into adulthood. Fatherhood is a powerful force in a child’s life.  Used properly, a father can be a tremendous blessing; applied improperly, fatherhood can inflict wounds and scars that remain for a long time.
• Fathers can aggravate or exasperate their children by...

1.      Overprotection--never allowing them any liberty, strict rules about everything. They must show trust with their children so the child will not despair and which can lead to rebellion. Parents must communicate that they trust.

2.      By showing favoritism, which happens when we don't look at each of them through God's eyes.

3.      By not helping them see their worth. Many children are convinced that what they do and feel is not important. One way to decrease worth is by not listening to your children. These children may give up trying to communicate and become discouraged, shy, and withdrawn.

4.      By setting unrealistic goals--by never rewarding them. Nothing is enough so they never get full approval. Are you trying to make them into a person they are NOT? Some kids become so frustrated that they commit suicide.

5.      By failing to show affection (verbally & physically).

6.      By not providing for their legitimate needs.

7.      By lack of standards (the opposite of overprotection). These children are left to their own. They cannot handle that freedom and begin to feel insecure and unloved.

8.      By destructive criticism. A child learns what he experiences in life. If he lives with criticism he does not learn responsibility. He learns to condemn himself and to find fault with others. He learns to doubt his own judgment, to disparage his own ability and to distrust the intentions of others. And above all, he learns to live with continual expectation of impending doom. Parents should seek to create in the home a positive, constructive environment.

9.      By neglect. What God gives you is to be passed down to your children and that requires your time and attention with your children. God expects it!

10.  By excessive discipline. Never discipline in anger.

(22) SLAVES, obey your earthly masters in everything you do. Try to please them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Serve them sincerely because of your reverent fear of the Lord.
(23) Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.
(24) Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.

·        The last half of this verse is above my office desk to remind me who my real boss is.

(25) But if you do what is wrong, you will be paid back for the wrong you have done. For God has no favorites.

Colossians 4:1: Masters, be just and fair to your slaves. Remember that you also have a Master—in heaven.

• There is no reason for a chapter division at this point, for the responsibility of masters is closely linked with that of servants, which we have seen would include the relationship between employers and employees or teachers and students.

NOTE: Sources and References are on line at:
http://colossians-study.blogspot.com/2011/01/colossians-references.html